Fair question. The short of it is that I'm a member of the DC Gurly Show and I'm a burlesque performer. Our troupe is awesome and you should go to every single thing we do because its amaze-balls every time.
So there you have it. Check out my blog to see where and when I'm performing, what I'm up to in my burlesque life, and when my other bad ass Gurlies are taking the stage.
For those of you who actually care about how I got here though, feel free to keep reading...
In real life, I dress like a bum. I don't wear makeup (unless I'm going out, which coincidentally, I rarely do). I don't do my hair. I am the antithesis of sexy. You will typically find me in jeans, a hoodie, chucks, and a ponytail. Unless its hot and I wear flip flops and a t shirt, but that's pretty much what you get. I wasn't always like this, hell I was even nominated for best dressed in high school. My college roommates actually forbade me to go shopping sometimes because there was just no place to put all of my clothes. There are a few factors that have contributed to my desexification process. Some are pretty cliche, but whatevs, that's life.
1. My job-In real life, I'm a nanny. I went to school so I could teach high schoolers the beauty of the Spanish language and then realized wtf, this is sooooo NOT for me. Then I taught preschool for a little while and suddenly there were bells and whistles and neon signs like "THIS IS WHERE I NEED TO BE!" Unfortunately with all that fan fare came bill collectors, low bank balances, and no social life to speak of-fyi, preschool teachers get paid shit. So I figured what better way to combine two things I love, teaching kids and being able to pay my bills, than to be a full time nanny? Unfortunately, spending 10 hours a day with little ones lends itself to slight laziness and acute desexification. In other words, I dress like a crap 50 hours/week. Who needs cute clothes and accessories when you know you're going to end up covered in yogurt, paint, some type of bodily fluid, or on a reallllly good day all three?
2. My weight-Now, by no means is this going to be some self loathing diatribe about how much I hate my body and how hideous I look all the time. In all actuality, my weight isn't horrific. But it's also not where I want it to be. The freshman 15 + relationship weight + generally laziness sometimes has gotten me to where I am, but I'm working on it. I'd love to just throw clothes on and not spend 10 minutes wondering if something if flattering or not. Because most of the time I decided "not" and throw on my typical uniform and say fuck it.
3. A really bad break up-I won't harp on this one because it's in the past and uber cliche. Same old story: Girl meets boy, girl falls madly in love, girl finds out boy is a lying, cheating, sack of ass garbage, girl is left wondering why she wasn't good enough for him. But fast forward roughly two years and you find girl not giving a shit about said boy and is actually much better off :)
How I began trying to resexify myself
Enter Living Social. Yeah, that doesn't sound that sexy, I know. But they had a deal for some pole classes, which I'd been wanting to try forever, so I finally did...and I loved it. That's not to be confused with being good at it, but I did love it. And so began my foray into "exotic fitness." One day a burlesque class popped up on the schedule. I loooove stuff like that, old school sexy is what I call it. Not necessarily showing your cooter for a dollar, but being hot as shit all the same. So it only took me two weeks to get the balls to actually go to a class, where I met the love of my burlesque life, Lola. She's a phenomenal dancer, an amazing motivator, and an all around beautiful person. She's always telling us "any BODY can be sexy." And I'm really learning to take that to heart. She's also a member of the DC Gurly Show and so of course I went to see her perform at one of their shows. And another, and another. Until Private Tails finally said, "so I'll see you at the meeting on Wednesday, right?" Stupid me, I'm like what meeting? And she looked truly perplexed. "So we can get you on the stage." And I looked equally perplexed in return. But under that confusion, there was a kernel of interest. And that interest led me to actually go to said meeting and meet a bunch of awesome women who are all beautiful and sexy and courageous in their own way. I'm 1000% sure that they all have so much to teach me and I can't wait to learn it.
Here's a brief prospectus for those of you who might have gotten a little bored in the middle:
- I am rather unsexy for the following reasons:
- My job causes me to dress like a grungy 12 year old
- I got fat
- I was in a shit relationship
- I left that douchebag
- I'm getting in shape
- I found the amazing DC Gurly Show
I can't wait to share my burlesque journey with you, so stay tuned!
<3 Lexie
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