That's right, only 2 weeks and counting until I hit the Phase stage all by my lonesome. I'm oddly not terrified by this prospect...yet. I'm sure two weeks from now there will be a Full on Panic Mode part II type post. I think this is really important performace for me though. I feel comfortable with my title of "burlesque dancer" for the most part, but part of me feels like a sham. I've never quite done the whole shebang by myself, with the exception on two very short solo performances at the end of a workshop. Its not too tough to dance around for 75 seconds. Hell, if you forget the choreo, you could basically do a two step, shake your boobs, and then it's over. Performing to an entitre song seems both daunting and exhilarating. You never realize how long 3 1/2 minutes is until you have to fill it up with movement that a) doesn't look stupid; b) entertains the audience; and c) you can actually remember while you're on stage. But at the same time, the thought of performing something that came from my own crazy little brain seems so exciting. To know that I was solely responsible for the creation of something that other people might enjoy (that isn't food, I am a hell of a cook lol) seems so gratifying.
Without getting all out there about it, sometimes I think of this whole burlesque thing as so much bigger than individual performances on a stage. At least that's how it is for me. Who knows, some people could just love the attention, or enjoy getting nearly naked for people or need the tip money, or, or or...But that's half the reason I love it. Because it can mean as much (or as little) to you as you'd like. For me, it's about being true to myself. Lol come to think of it, that sounds a little odd, that my true self is a seductive dancer that removes articles of clothing for an audience? I don't quite think that's what I meant though. I just mean that embracing the fact that my interests are (and generally have always been) a little off the beaten path. Every time I send a video to my sister doing my latest pole trick, her first words are always "I still can't believe you have a pole in your bedroom..." Doing burlesque is not something your parents want to write about in their yearly Christmas card update and imagine me trying to explain to freshman year roommate at the HBCU I attended why my ringtone was Toxic by Britney Spears and that yes, I really did have Aaron Carter's That's How I Beat Shaq in my iTunes library. But that's just me. And it's taken 25 years and some girls dancing around in pasties to accept that. I am slowly but surely learning how to be wantonly unapologetic for who I am. And at the end of the day, if no one else likes it, who cares? I know that I'm being 100% true to myself and I LOVE that, and that's what counts, right?
Okay obvs this post got all waxing poetic by accident, but the whole point is, come to Phase July 20 to see me shake it, solo style! I promise to make it worth your cover charge :) Plus there are going to be other equally awesome gurlies performing that night. And if you just can't wait that long to see us again (and who could blame you?) come out to our upcoming shows at The Black Squirrel in Adams Morgan on July 9th and The Red Palace on July 14th.
